Did I even improve

I stopped the timer 5 times. But still, 13:52. If one day (probably tomorrow) I don't stop the timer but still get a crap timing, I'm fucking done. I can't even use the "you're almost there" excuse, let alone the "you're halfway there" or even "you're improving". Because I'M NOT EVEN IMPROVING BY A FUCKING MINUTE AFTER 2 FUCKING MONTHS.